Dr Muck’s Blog 20th March 2010

I noticed last week that some of the Muckettes were talking about wanting male waiters in the club. Male geishas? Gayshas? Well, when I suggested this, Fifi and the other geisha girls got quite possessive about their roles here. After I pacified them (yes, that is a euphemism) they agreed to a ladies’ night at some point in the near future. Amazing what a bit of mucky love and the Muck FM credit card for a day’s shopping can do. Now, obviously all the Muck DJs are buff and toned, but we won’t be able to serve (yes, another euphemsim) the ladies while we are busy spinning tunes. We are men after all, and can’t multitask. So other options needed to be explored.

Handy offered to recruit some young men from the “club” he attends most nights, and seemed to refuse to take no for an answer. He bolted out of the door, and as he left informed me that he would be spending the rest of the weekend holding auditions in his back room at the club. I really don’t know if that was a euphemism- the mind boggles. Although I am sure he would hand pick (literally) some young men that would no doubt be more than acceptable to the Muckettes, I doubt if they would be able to rise to the challenge that our ladies would expect. If you know what I mean…

Luckily, Muck FM’s very own guru, Ecaked has stepped up and offered to sacrifice himself (and his dignity) to don nothing more than a dicky bow and a smile, and serve up his very own muck (not a euphemism, eugh) on a silver platter just for the delight of the Muckettes.

Is there anything that this versatile man cannot do? It seems not. But let’s just wait until ladies’ night is over, and get the feedback of the girls. Specially erected (oh please…) screens around the DJ booth will protect the musicians from seeing things that could leave them scarred for life, and once they are in place, anything goes. Please be gentle with Ecaked though- I don’t think he knows what he is letting himself in for. Although at first look he appears fierce and intimidating, this gentle man, and gentleman, is a pussy cat underneath and needs to be treated with care to get the best out of him. Think of him like a Rolls Royce that needs to be broken in before it can be thrashed. I’m reliably informed though that reports that he can do 0-60 in just a few seconds are unfounded, and stamina is not something you ladies need to worry about. It all bodes for a very messy night. I wish that wasn’t a euphemsim, but I’m afraid it probably will be…




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